Chapter 121: The Devil went out to Utah

The Devil went out to Utah, he was lookin’ to relax
When stealin’ souls gets too old, he skis the double blacks,
When he came across this young man clad in skies and ridin’ ’em hot,
And the Devil jumped up in the middle of the bumps, said, “Boy, lemme tell you what,
I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m an alpine skier too,
And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
Now you ride pretty good powder, son, but give the Devil his due,
I’ll bet some goggles of gold against your soul ’cause I think I’m better than you.”
The boy said, “My name’s Justin, and it might be a sin,
But I’ll take your bet, you’re gonna regret,
Cause I’m the best that’s ever been.”

Justin wax up those skis, and ride those twintips hard,
cause Hell’s broke loose in Utah and the devil deals the cards.
And if you win, you’ll get this pair of goggles made of gold,
but if you lose, the devil gets your soul.

Well, the Devil stepped into his bindings and said, “I’ll start this show,”
And fire flew from his poles as he tucked the entry low.
And he cut hard before the jump and the snow made an evil hiss,
Then with a band of boarders shouting he nailed some wicked tricks:

(several sick ski tricks mixed with an evil guitar solo)

When the Devil finished, Justin said, “Well you’re pretty good, ski bum,
But before you ride the chair right there, let me show you how it’s done:”

Snow on the mountain, ride, boys, ride
(helicoptor ski trick)
The devil’s in the land where the Mormon’s hide
(triple spin with cross)
Drinking in the lodge and the tram ride up
(retrograde cowgirl)
I’m only in-bounds cause the damn gate’s shut
(some other totally sick move)

Well the Devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat,
And he laid the golden goggles on the ground at Justin’s feet,
And Justin said, “Devil, just come on back if you ever wanna try again,
I done told you once, you sonofabitch, I’m the best that’s ever been.”

Snow on the mountain, ride, boys, ride
The devil’s in the land where the Mormon’s hide
Drinking in the lodge and the tram ride up
I’m only in-bounds cause the damn gate’s shut