Chapter 87: The Patent Examiner’s Song

somebody get out my drums and whiskey.

And it’s go boys go
They’ll count your every breath
And every bi-week in this place you’re two weeks nearer death
But you go…
::/chorus::

Well an Examiner am I and I’m telling you no lie
I search for things that meet just what the applicant defined
There’s paper all around me and there’s stillness in the air
There’s a number to be met and quite a stretch to get me there

::chorus::

Well I’ve searched through databases and I’ve seen my share of code
I’ve weeded through some claim trees that could make a donkey choke
I’ve fought with lawyers who refuse to listen or to learn
Been allowing stuff that looks so rough it’d make your stomach turn

::chorus::

There’s overtime and raises, opportunities galore
The young men like their flex-time and they all come back for more
But soon you’re thirty something and look balder than you should
For every count turned in Monday you pay with flesh and blood

::chorus::

Well an Examiner am I and I’m telling you no lie
I search for things that meet just what the applicant defined
There’s paper all around me and there’s stillness in the air
There’s a number to be met and quite a stretch to get me there

::chorus x 2::

… with apologies to Ron Angel

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